Technology is taking over our lives.

My day consists of all technology...

Instead of going outside and running, while enjoying the warm day with the fresh air

I drag myself into the gym.. blasting music I pretend to listen to into my ears.
I don't even pay attention to it, just have it there, for comfort.
Just in case.
Maybe I'll find a song that relates to everything
Maybe it'll make me feel a special way.

Then I come home and lay in front of the television.
Again, completely mindless.

I don't listen, nor pay attention.

In between the endlessness of trying to sell pointless things to me, I pick up the computer and try to pretend I have a life.

Catch up and see what 'so-and-so' is doing.

Maybe someone will have commented on my blog,
or maybe someone uploaded new fun pictures to look at on facebook!

There never is anything I enjoy to look at.

I put away the computer and check my phone once again.

That's a hopeless cause.

I try and convince myself I'm not dependant on it.
Then one second later I see a flash on the phone... maybe it was a text.

I get my hopes up on it, just to look at the same empty picture time after time.

No one is there.

My comfort is my technology.

Yet, it doesn't satisfy me.

It gives me nothing I want.

This room, these things in it, are my prison.

Its all used just to make me suffer.

In all actuality, it was meant to make me not think, to just be the "thing".

But instead of letting that happen, I let it punish me more.
It makes me think.
It makes me cry.
It makes me feel inadequate.
It makes me think I'm not who I'm supposed to be.
It makes me think I'm in another world.

--This is not the typical day for me, I promise.
I do not do this every day

I still find myself coming back to it though time and again.

It just so happens this was the place I was put today.

Drifting in and out of the world
but having no place in it.

I've become the invisible.
You don't see me;
I don't know if its because I don't wish to be seen,
or if its better that I'm not seen.

This technology still has performed its "mindless body" goal with me, but not in the intended way.

I'm not mindless, just appear that way.
No one knows quite what is going on in my head while I debate if its all real.

I wish it wasn't.
So badly I wish.