Another year gone

School is almost over, don't get me wrong, I'm super stoked for the summer.

But this is my last year in a school and I'm going to miss it dearly.
I've become closer to the girls I work with as well as grown as a person because of them.

I am so sad to have to leave it, but even staying at Canyon View wouldn't be the same.

Everyone from work (the girls) minus Kelli
It's been an amazing four years but I'm ready needing to move on.
I have been talking all at work how badly I just want it to be summer but now that it is really here I want to cry.

I didn't realize how sad I was until Thursday night. I was laying on the couch at Rob's and I almost started to cry.

Its time to move to the next chapter in my life but I don't know if I can actually do it.

I need to be a grown up. I need to get a real job, a real grown-up job.

This is the last week of me working at Canyon View Junior High school.

This is the last week of me being "Miss Brylie"... or affectionately called "Bryl" by students or one particular student.

This isn't fair.

Why can't I just stay being the young girl that never turns into a grown up.

But here I am, almost twenty-two years old and I am still just working a job that I got right out of high school.
No experience required.
I had no experience.

What if I end up being horrible at Early Intervention?
When I first learned about it I went crazy knowing that's what I wanted, but what if I'm wrong. What if I was crazy to take that route?

What if I get my degree and then I can't get a job... I don't know what else I can even get a job in with my degree (Behavioral Science -Family Studies emphasis in Development.)

Why is this so hard for me at this point?!
Why didn't I think this through that at this moment, I'm officially stranded.

I have to hope to get enough hours through Rise to cover my bum while in school as well as paying for my (NEW!) car.

What if I start going to more classes and completely fail at life and can't take it?

What if I have a mental breakdown right now just thinking about it?

Thursday is going to be a hard day for me. I just might end up crying in my bed all day wondering what I've done.

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